Monday, March 8, 2010

The Know-it-all syndrome and the Arrogant Wise Guy

According to the free online definition for the Know-it-all, also known as a windbag, wise guy or wiseacre would be claiming to know all things or what is also referred to as a walking encyclopedia.
Arrogance on the other hand, means having an exaggerated self-opinion about everything. Having had the pleasure of experiencing such a character from the international people I have met through the years, these traits sure go hand in hand with each other.

As Part of my "detox" which is to manage letting go of bad thoughts and bad wishful thinking to the people who hurt or offend me (which I don't mean to but can't be helped at times) is to instead pour it all out in my blog. Hopefully when writing about it, it would serve as some form of release to get over it and move on. Also, by doing this, it will shed some light on how not having to be defensive and snapping back is sometimes a good thing. Let them make fools out of themselves. Maybe someday I would get that chance and get back at them with one great, witty remark to shut them all up.

I have encountered such people and it never just hits me right off the bat that they fall under this category. Could it be because I am a poor judge of character at that moment in time?
It is innate for us to have this intelligent ability to sense right and wrong, bad or good things. And it all comes from our gut. So, sometimes I sense something fishy in the beginning that this person is exhausting and heavy to be with or the opposite of that. But surely "my gut" not being that sensitive ignores this intuition until it hits me hard at face value. I have been aware of this for quite some time now, and I would really like to think that it is that good side of mine because it makes me a "non-judgmental," and sincere kind of person because I accept things as they are and without having to maliciously pass judgment to the people I meet. If it is indeed a good trait, it could also mean my downfall because people will tend to take advantage of me and outsmart me just as well.

I guess I am not that sensitive enough to sense fishy traits right away especially ones that are quite hidden in people at times. They are harder to read. They are the ones that catch you off guard because you didn't see them coming in the first place. I would like to call them the "sneaky ones." And there are some that are just downright and brutally obvious. It is much easier to handle them because you know that their bark is only worse than their bite and it's easier to snap an answer. It could probably mean a sign of insecurity. It's either that or they just don't care anymore whether they offend or hurt people. And there are the gabbers that blab on without having the slightest bit of what they are saying. It could also be a bad habit of theirs to break; and that is to speak before they think. It could also be that they just talk too damn much only for the sake of blabbering; you also have those types of people who just won't stop talking because they want you to know that they are knowledgeable of everything. I think they are the ones that are out to prove something, as if they knew so many things! And lastly, always putting their two cents worth in are the types of people that could just as well drain you. They have answers for just about anything and everything!!

I find it best now to just stay quiet and smile when encountering a know-it-all or arrogant person. Sometimes being agreeable at some point in a conversation keeps it light. So far, both work like a charm. Shutting them out by turning a deaf ear and still smiling and adding words in like: "yeah," or "really, I didn't know that," (and totally looking past his face) works just as great too. I realized that I don't need the added stress of having to chime in or getting all-defensive and sassing back especially if the topic is so impertinent. You would probably have a hard time a getting a word in edgewise anyway!

Slowly but surely on my part, I am learning more and more now to trust my gut feeling of a person. Sticking to my opinions of a first impression, it helps me guard myself from there.

During my many of experiences, when alighted upon a conversation with any of the blabbers I just mentioned, I know that I should have retaliated with a witty and "stomach blowing" comeback. But I didn't do so. Not because I was keeping silent. I wanted to say something but it didn't seem smart enough at that time to say it to put him at his place. That's what I regret the most. It's only after when I realize that I should have retorted this kind of remark. But then it’s okay also because, if I did say something, it may have just ended up hurtful and uncalled for instead. I know I would have regretted that big time too. Keeping quiet (and smiling and nodding from time to time) to let him run on and on about nothing would be the better choice. But I know that at the end of the day, my "should've, could've, would've reverie" would eat me up for awhile and I would end up practicing in front of the mirror for that snappy answer that could have been appropriate. But then again I ask myself, what for? The moment has passed and I should learn to let it go and move on. It was what it was.

Blogging about this perception is quite liberating and it does helps me ease up on those negative and uncalled for situations. It's like looking at it from a third party's point of view. It is quite clear now that in this world, you can't please everybody and they certainly cannot please you.

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